Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Why do projects...

...when I can procrastinate instead?

I took a quiz on Facebook the other day expecting some silly or bogus answer (the question was "What is your life color?"), and got a rather surprising result. It is extraoridnarily accurate and has somehow managed to put into words what I previously could not. I know it sounds silly to put so much stock into an online quiz, especially one designed on Facebook, but just read the response and maybe it will make more sense.

"Fantasy, enchantment, dreams, myths, spiritual beings, angels, fairies are all concepts which fill the Lavenders' mind. Lavenders tend to live in a fantasy world. They prefer to spend their time out of their bodies, where life is pretty and enchanting. It is challenging for these airy beings to live in three-dimensional reality. Lavenders prefer imaginary pictures of the world, seeing butterflies, flowers and wood nymphs rather than dirt, concrete and large cities. Physical reality seems cold and harsh to them. These sensitive creatures are fragile and frail, and their physical appearance is often weak and pale. Lavenders' skin is often alabaster white because they don't like being outdoors, unless it is to be gently surrounded by beautiful flowers and gardens. These child-like personalities are sensitive and simple. Lavenders would rather spend time watching clouds float by or daydreaming. They prefer to escape this reality with all of its demands and responsibilities. The Lavender's behavior tends to frustrate others who may expect them to be dependable and responsible. Lavenders have no understanding of what it means to hold a responsible job or to earn money. They are more familiar with other dimensions and imagined realities. Lavenders even have a difficult time relating to or connecting with the concepts of time, space and physical matter. They tend to experience events in their imaginations, but they are not usually grounded enough in physical reality to actually accomplish anything tangible."


I've bolded the parts I found to be particuarly accurate. I think most of it speaks for itself. I have more to say about it, but I'm not really sure how to articulate it, so I'll just leave you with this instead:


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Numb

I think college has smothered all feelings out of me. Or at least my ability to feel anything. I haven't been happy in a long time. I don't like my major anymore. I'm even finding it hard to be passionate about music, which is the only thing I have ever really cared about. The only other thing I could really put on that list was writing, and I haven't done any of that since the beginning of freshman year.

Where has my passion gone? Why don't I care about anything anymore? I'm burned out, and have been for a while, but can that really be the reason for this numbness?

I want the old me back. I want me pre-college. Happy and carefree and eternally optimistic.
Where did that girl go?



On a different note, I took this picture from a plane a few years ago. It makes me think that maybe things will get better someday.