I used to be a dreamer. I used to have wild fantasies about meeting prince charming and riding off into the sunset. I used to rely solely on fate to lead me to my next destination.
…where did I go? When did I become so different? There are still little bits of me that cling to those things, but they are an endangered species and are quickly becoming extinct.
What made me change?
It’s not that I dislike who I am now… I just miss who I used to be.
Scratch that. I do dislike who I am now. The old Lacy was loud to an obnoxious degree and wasn’t afraid of putting herself out there. This new Lacy rarely ever speaks and tends to shy away from social interaction. The old Lacy disliked confrontation but wouldn’t back down from it when presented with a difficult situation. This new Lacy hates confrontation to such a degree that she’s letting an important friendship go down the drain rather than talking the issue out.
I’ve always known that I’ve been a bundle of contradictions. Even before this change occurred, I could identify the parts of me that were the opposite of the traits I presented at the time. Now, the other half of me seems to have taken over. Normally I embrace change. It’s scary, but it’s exciting at the same time. This change, however…
I’m not ok with this.
