Change?

I used to be a dreamer. I used to have wild fantasies about meeting prince charming and riding off into the sunset. I used to rely solely on fate to lead me to my next destination.

…where did I go? When did I become so different? There are still little bits of me that cling to those things, but they are an endangered species and are quickly becoming extinct.

What made me change?

It’s not that I dislike who I am now… I just miss who I used to be.

Scratch that. I do dislike who I am now. The old Lacy was loud to an obnoxious degree and wasn’t afraid of putting herself out there. This new Lacy rarely ever speaks and tends to shy away from social interaction. The old Lacy disliked confrontation but wouldn’t back down from it when presented with a difficult situation. This new Lacy hates confrontation to such a degree that she’s letting an important friendship go down the drain rather than talking the issue out.

I’ve always known that I’ve been a bundle of contradictions. Even before this change occurred, I could identify the parts of me that were the opposite of the traits I presented at the time. Now, the other half of me seems to have taken over. Normally I embrace change. It’s scary, but it’s exciting at the same time. This change, however…

I’m not ok with this.

Football in a Hurricane and the Effects of 3.5 Hour Naps

Today was a pretty amazing day, all things considered. TCU's football game was at noon today instead of 6 in an effort to avoid the brunt of Ike, though ironically enough I think we got it worse at noon than we would have at six. Although I was sleeping through what was supposed to be the worst part of the storm so I guess I wouldn't really know. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I watched the first quarter on TV cause I still wasn't quite awake yet (it's the weekend... gimme a break!), but after much cajoling by my friends, I went in time to see the start of the second quarter and the rest of the game. Well of course I wasn't thinking when I left my room and so didn't realize I'd forgotten my umbrella until I got there and it started raining. Fortunately for me, both of my friends had ponchos on, so I huddled up between them whenever it started raining.

The weather wasn't actually as bad as I was expecting it to be. I mean it was really windy and it was pretty much raining sideways throughout the entire game, but I was expecting something close to the apocalypse so it wasn't really too bad. I didn't bring my camera with me cause I didn't want it to get wet, but I wish I had so I could have documented the craziness. We actually had a really good time, and after a while the fans started chearing for Ike. It was pretty amazing. And aside from some really awful calls by the refs, we won the game 31 14. And can I just go ahead and say how RUDE the Stanford band was? We were really respectful during their alma mater, and they played right through ours! It was made even worse by the fact that they were on OUR turf and totally disrespecting us.

Anyway, I was pretty much soaked by the end of the game and couldn't wait to get into some DRY. When my roommate got back (she's in colorguard), we decided it was high time for a nap. I don't know how long she slept for since she went to sleep after me and woke up before I did, but I definitely slept for three and a half hours. It was a really deep sleep, too. I had about three different dreams and thought it was Sunday morning when I woke up. Needless to say, I am now wide awake. I've been tooling around on the internet as a result of my current insomnia, and LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND! This is pretty much the coolest website I have ever seen. You upload a picture of yourself and the website shows you what you would have looked like back in the day. It goes all the way from 1950 to 2000. I saved too many pictures to post, but here are my faves:

1958. Check out that collar!

1962. How on earth do you a) style your hair like that and b) make it stay?!

1976. I think my mom used to have a similar haircut... and probably a similar shirt.

1978. This one's my fave. I've ALWAYS wanted a fro. Too bad I don't have the right kind of hair!

1986. Does anyone else think that hairdo looks like Michael Jackson's from around the same time?

2000. It was only 8 years ago and it's kind of hard for me to imagine the fashion then being any different from the fashion now. 'Course, I was only 11 at the time. I don't think I even knew what fashion was...

Anywho, it is now 1:37 and I figure it's high time for me to make an attempt at sleeping. It's either that or work on the history homework I've been neglecting, and as much as I enjoy my history class, I enjoy sleep astronomically more. :]

Jacob

There's been an addition to the family. On Tuesday, September 9, Jacob Luke Awbrey was born to my cousin Tricia and her husband Jordan. He is 7 lbs 10 oz and the most beautiful baby that has ever been born to anyone. =)

In other news, life has been pretty busy for me lately. I'm historian of two different organizations on campus, plus all of the work I supposed to be doing for my classes. I'm currently working on three instruments, plus voice. That's a TON of practicing. Not to mention homework for all my other classes. So far I've been able to balance things fairly well. I even have a semblance of a social life, which is a change from last year. I just hope the work doesn't start to pile up as the semester goes on. The stress is already starting to have effects on my face!

Anywho, I'm going to go hunker down and hide from Ike and maybe get a few things accomplished in the process. Until next time! :]

Wearing Thin

Goodness, it's only the first day of the week and I'm already exhausted! This may or may not have something to do with the fact that I stayed up til 1:15 last night. ANYWAY....

I feel like I need to explain my bad mood and moody entry from last night. The reason for my bad mood was "Realize" by Colbie Caillat. My friend Tara wanted me to listen to it because it's supposedly her life story (it is... I'm pretty sure Colbie Caillat was chanelling Tara when she wrote it), and the song and the music video are so sad that it put me in a really unhappy mood. I started listening to my ever-faithful happy music, but for some reason last night it just made me even more melancholy. My roommate had already gone to bed so it was just me, sad music, and my thoughts. And so last night's entry was born. It turns out, however, that Barbie did try to call me earlier in the evening, but I had left my phone in my car and thus didn't get it. So everything is just hunky dory right now and no need to fret, etc. I'm in a much better mood today despite the fact that I could probably sleep for three hours at least if I fell asleep right now.

As it is, however, I need to leave for class ahora mismo (it's been three years since I've taken Spanish so forgive me if that's incorrect). Peace!

BFFF?

Ok so I realize it's been almost a month since my last entry, but I think it's safe for me to say that y'all (whoever "y'all" happen to be) can expect irregular updates from me. Anyhow, I really do have a reason for writing this, and that reason is that I really need to get the following complaint off my chest, but I'm not sure who to talk to about it or really even how to say it. So here goes, and wish me luck.

I love my best friend to death. She's pretty much my other half/the sister I never had, et cetera et cetera et cetera. Here's the thing: I'm always waiting on her. At least, I feel like I'm always waiting on her. When we're at home and I call her to hang out, she's got some things to do and she'll call me when she's done. Or she's gonna go get a late dinner and she call me when she's back. When I call her up just cause I wanna talk about nothing in particular, she's in the middle of something or is on her way to somewhere and will call me when she's done doing whatever it is. Sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't.

Here's the other thing: when she doesn't have a boyfriend, she's looking for one. She has one right now, and he's pretty much Mr. Perfect. I feel like our relationship as friends comes second to theirs as significant others or lovers or whatever you want to call it. They talk more often and see each other more often and do everything more often. And I realize this all sounds petty and stupid and it probably is, but it really bothers me sometimes.

What prompted me to write this entry tonight was that earlier today she suggested we scheduled some time to talk since we can't really seem to catch each other, especially now that we're back in school, and I suggested tonight. She agreed. We didn't talk. Now while I admit to letting my computer go idle at one point while I got distracted by Sex and the City in the other room, I waited faithfully on the internet and by my phone. I don't know if the time she decided to get on was at the same time my computer decided to turn off, but we still have phones, don't we?

I guess the real problem is that I go out of my way and around the corner for every single one of my friends, and for little things, too. If I'm in the middle of something and they want to talk, I drop what I'm doing and talk. Rarely do I feel like they'd do the same for me. It just seems to be manifesting itself more clearly in me and Barbie's relationship than with anyone else. And don't take this to mean that I'm angry with Barbie or anything, because I'm not. She'd have to do something extraordinarily awful for me to even consider being angry with her. I just wish that my friends would think about doing for me what I'd do in a heartbeat for them.

I think this is something I'd eventually like to bring up with her, but I have a tendency to avoid confrontation at all costs. And anyway, if I tried to talk to her about this in my current mental state, I'd be more likely to say the wrong thing and fuck everything up than make it all better. Any advice regarding the situation and what, if anything, I should do about it would be greatly appreciated.

And because I'd like to end this post on a semi-happy note, here's the two of us being awesome at her house at three in the morning. Despite all of my previous complaints, my best friend still kicks your best friend's ass. :]

Nerdfest

Yes. It's true. I'm one of those girls. I am in love with Edward Cullen. He is second in my heart only to Fitzwilliam Darcy. Tonight was the release of the fourth and final book in the Twilight series and yes, I will admit, I dressed up for the 'party.' I so wish I hadn't forgotten my camera because there were some seriously interesting costumes tonight. (I only wore a pink cocktail dress. Nothing to get excited about.) These people went all out on their costumes. Some were in full vampire garb with pale skin and fanged teeth and all that jazz. There was a girl there in a full-length, cream colored dress covered in black lace wearing red (we're talking fire engine red here) contacts. It was more than a little unnerving. There was even a guy there who was only wearing slacks and a bow tie with his torso covered in glitter. Those of you who are familiar with the series will appreciate that as much as I did. x]

Anyhow, thanks to my dear friend Alisha who went to B&N at 7 this morning to get tickets, we were the first group to get our books and so won't have to stay up all night waiting for our turn. Now we can just stay up all night reading. :] Speaking of reading, this book is all but calling my name. It may be a while before I appear again. Toodles!

Day Trippin'

This is my baby. His name is Tippy. :] I'm really proud of this picture because Tippy HATES having his picture taken and it took me forever to finally get a good shot of him.

Today my friends and I took a mini road trip up to Davis, OK. There's a park there centered around Turner Falls (above). As you can see, there's not really much to them, but evidently they're the tallest in OK. We pretty much spent the entire day swimming in the river and slipping on algae-covered rocks. We all got a little sunburned and were exhausted by the time we left for home, but we had a fantastic time, and got some pictures to prove it.

Overdue

I think the title speaks for itself. An update to my blog is long overdue, and I can't believe I really haven't updated since May! It doesn't feel it's been that long. So to make up for all this lost time, here's a little update on what I've been doing this summer.

Right after Spring semester ended, I took Sociology in Maymester at the community college here. It was ridiculous how easy this class was. I went to class four hours a day, Monday through Friday, for two weeks. We would always start with sociology, but we would inevitably digress and spend the remaining 3 and a half hours of class talking about something else. I got an A simply for showing up (not that I'm complaining).

Towards the beginning of summer I babysat regularly for the boys who live across the alley from me. The only pictures I have of them are on my phone and I haven't figured out how to get them on to my computer since my mobile plan doesn't include email. Anyway, their names are Cameron, who's 10, and Colin, who's 8. They're not too hard to take care of, but after a couple of days they start to think they can get away with anything. That gets annoying very quickly.

Anyway, babysitting has pretty much been my only source of income for the entire summer. I applied for three different jobs and got rejected all three times before I decided that babysitting not only pays better, but I also don't have to pay taxes which is very nice indeed.

I also took an English class this summer so I could knock out that second comp credit. I ended up making an A in that as well, although I'm not really sure how, because I put minimal effort into those essays. I guess that's just the difference between community college and university.

After that class was over I went on my church's Micah college choir tour, which was a ton of fun. There were only 15 of us so we all got to know each other pretty well. I think the best part about the whole thing was that we all became friends with people we probably wouldn't have in a larger social situation. We went to San Antonio, Brownsville, Matamoros, and South Padre Island. Here are a few pictures from that week.

We were all sitting in one chair at Starbucks :]

On the Riverwalk

The beach at South PadreMe (right) and my roomie (left)
Artsy macro pic. :]

A couple weeks after I got back from Micah, my family and I went to Chicago. We had a great time and did pretty much every touristy thing we could possibly do. I think the only thing we didn't do was go to the top of Hancock tower because it was never clear enough for a good view, and when it was we were out doing something else. My favorite parts of this vacation were going to see Wicked (it's SOOOO GOOD!!) and going on a segway tour.We actually got to go on Wrigley Field :]

I love my dad :]

Ok well I think that just about covers what I've been up to since May. I'm going to Oklahoma tomorrow so I will probably have some more stories and pictures to share when I get back. Toodles!

May/End of freshman year

Current music obsession: www.pandora.com. Type in your favorite artist and it will create a "radio station" full of that artist's music and other music that's similar. And here's the best part... it's free!

Today is Tuesday. My last exam is Friday. This means that my freshman year of college will be over. Finished. Done.

Excuse me, time, but where the hell have you gone?

The fact that I've already got one year of college under my belt is more frightening than it is exciting. If the next three years are anything like this last one has been, then I'm going to be out in the real world way before I'm ready.

(What is the real world, anyway? Is the one in which I currently live fake?)

Here's another thing: I don't really live anywhere. Everything in my room at school is in boxes right now, and will probably remain in boxes for the next three months until I unload it into my next semi-perminant residence this fall. And so the pattern will repeat until I graduate and I'm out on my own (eep!). But that's a long way off yet (unless the next three years pass like the first, then we're in trouble).

For now, I'm just going to keep looking forward to Friday, because as much as I wish time would go slower, I really am ready for this semester to be over. Finished. Done.

End.

Life in fast forward

Current music obsession: Joanna Newsom and Regina Spektor. Check 'em out.

The last day of March is a week from today. This is both a very good and a very bad thing. It is a good thing because it means that there is only a month left of this semester. It's a bad thing because once professors see that there is only a month left of the semester, they will start piling on the work like there's no tomorrow. Excessive work + End-of-Semester Fever = a Lacy who has no idea what to do with herself.

Here comes the sun.

End.

I put the "pro" in "procrastination"

Lend me some sugah....
....I am yo' neighbah!

Current music obsession: Jon Foreman's EPs. He's releasing one for every season, and the ones out now are Fall and Winter. I think my favorite song from both of these comes from Winter. The song is called Somebody's Baby (lyrics can be found here), and it's that kind of song that makes you sit up and listen the instant it starts playing. Jon's honest voice combined with his skill with an acoustic guitar make this song irresistable. Buy it on iTunes if you can. It will be well worth your $.99.

At this particular moment, I should be spending my precious (and rare) spare time finishing my English paper. Instead, I'm browsing the internet and writing to [imaginary] strangers about nothing in particular for no particular reason. It's supposed to be a research paper, but not just any research paper. No, this is a personal research paper, which means it's not just a presentation of information, but rather is a series of personal experiences, questions concerning the topic, and my reactions to the information I've found. Since I didn't do any of this on my first draft, I essentially have to rewrite my entire essay. By tomorrow. Joy.

In other news, Obama is speaking in Fort Worth tonight, and I really want to go hear him. I'm not sure if that's going to happen, however, because I'm in class until 7 tonight and I still have an essay to rewrite. I'll probably end up going, anyway.

End.

Wound

I was digging through some old papers and found something I wrote for a daily assignment for the creative writing class I took in high school (fall of 2005). The assignment was to show an emotion rather than stating, for instance, "He was sad." The resulting paragraph I will post below. Brent Shultz, if you are reading this, know that two and a half years later, I still haven't forgiven you. I probably never will.

"It was like I had just run into a rather solid wall after staring off in the other direction; I was winded, at a loss for words, and slightly embarassed. How could he do that? After listening to all his troubles and all those nights spent worrying about his cancer and then rejoicing because it was miraculously operable, only to find out that it was all a lie? After trusting him again after the first time he lied to me and Catie, all of this turned out to be a way to keep the attention focused on himself. I couldn't tell Catie; she would be devastated. And there was no way I could tell Laura because she wouldn't believe me. She was always defending him."