shoelacy

I caved

2010-09-07T09:13:00.002-05:00

http://cactuslacy.tumblr.com/

tumblr may be my new home on the intarwebz. not sure yet. so if I never ever return to blogger, well. that will just be normal.

WTF, FLEAS

2010-07-14T13:53:00.004-05:00

Evidently this is a really bad year for fleas. And by, "bad for fleas," I really mean, "good for fleas and bad for everyone who hates fleas. Which is, you know, every living thing on this planet. Except maybe for things that eat fleas. They probably really like them."

ANYWAY, the reason I am bringing this up is because all three of my dogs have fleas. Let me take a moment to illustrate the severity of the situation to you. I picked a few fleas off of Tippy this morning. I picked ten off of Pete after I got back from lunch. It has been like this every day for the past few weeks. I can see the fleas crawling around beneath their fur. They will surface, crawl to a new location, and then go back down into the fur like some kind of parasitic dolphin. Flea baths only do so much, because as soon as the dogs go outside to pee they are crawling with fleas again. The fleas also seem to have inhabited the carpet because every now and then one will hop onto my leg or arm.

We have been fighting the battle against the fleas for what feels like forever but has probably been just a few weeks (which is still, you know, FOREVER). We have tried everything: topical solutions, flea baths, spraying the yard, vacuuming the house and tossing the bags, spraying the carpet with flea killer, washing the dogs' beds. We even gave them a pill that was supposed to last for 24 hours but ended up making them sick. The problem is so bad that I have flea bites on my legs (because I'm pretty sure there are some in my bed) and I feel itchy all the time, although that last bit is probably a result of the psychosis the fleas are causing.

If you have ANY ideas about what we can do to get rid of these damn things, please, please, PLEASE let me know because we are just at an absolute loss.

On a less cringe-worthy note, I am currently sorting through all the pictures I took on my last foray out into the world. It's taking me a while to get through them all, but here's a teaser for what's (hopefully) soon-to-come:

OH HAI BLOGOSPHERE LOLZ

2010-07-12T23:24:00.003-05:00

It has been two months and one day since my last post.

Oops.

I honestly just forgot I even had a blog for a while. It's like I finished unpacking all of my things from college (which was evidently the most exciting thing I could think to write about two months ago) and then went brain dead or something.

Ok, fine, I'll tell you what really happened. I discovered that I could watch entire seasons of TV shows on Netflix.

Really, Lacy? All you've been doing for the past two months is watching TV shows online?

Err... well.... yeah. Doctor Who (four seasons), Torchwood (three seasons), Dollhouse (first season), Buffy (first two seasons and most of the third), and Bones (all five seasons). That is ALOT of TV, y'all! Goodness.

And, yeah, I've been doing other stuff, too, if by "other stuff" you mean nannying for my neighbors' kids and.... well, that's about it, actually. (Also, there were a lot of commas in that sentence, but I'm pretty sure they're all correct.) I have left my house on occasion, though. So, you know, that's something.

And now... PUPPY PICTURE!

Unpacking sucks

2010-05-11T23:33:00.002-05:00

I mean, seriously. Where did all of this stuff come from?

In the process of moving things back into my room, I have had to clear some of my old things to make room for all of the stuff that's been accumulating at school for the past nine months. This is a project that has long been overdue, and it's actually kind of therapeutic to go through drawers and toss things into that big black trash bag. It's like I am the queen of the miscellaneous items' world and am in complete control of their fate......

Right, anyway. The big trash bag on the chair in the picture is actually full of clothes I am going to donate. See the pile of clothes sitting on my bed in the bottom right corner? They haven't been put in my closet yet because there is no place in the closet for me to put them. Except maybe on the floor...

Like I said, the cleaning is way overdue.

So that's what I'll be doing for the rest of this week. Try to contain your jealousy.

Calculator face

2010-05-06T13:56:00.000-05:00

Life is beautiful

2010-04-30T19:02:00.001-05:00

Ok, I know it's only been two days since my last post, but c'mon. You guys didn't think I'd be able to stay away from you forever, didja?

Oh, you did? You were hoping that Wednesday was my last blog post ever? You never wanted to hear from me again?

Um... right. Well.

*ahem*

Moving right along!

Today has been such a beautiful day that I've decided to keep my window open, which I don't usually do since I live on campus and there is invariably some drunk frat boy shouting underneath my window at any given time. Today, though, all I can hear are the birds singing their summer songs (because even though summer doesn't technically start until June 21st, it is already summer in my mind) and the bells of Robert Carr Chapel chiming the 7:00 hour. My complete and total freedom from junior year begins in exactly one week, and I am just feeling so hopeful (if still a little uncertain) about the future that I thought I'd share these things with you.

This is the view from my window right now. I took the picture through a screen so I apologize for the quality.

Life is beautiful, friends. =)

LAST DAY OF CLASS!

2010-04-28T15:58:00.002-05:00

Regardless of what yesterday's non-existant post might tell you, I didn't forget to blog yesterday. I got up on my bed with my computer around 6:00 yesterday and started writing, but I fell asleep before I finished and didn't wake up until 9:00 this morning.

So, yeah.

Today is my last day of class. I really can't begin to tell you how happy that makes me. =) It's also my last day of updating my blog every day. I'll still write, but it will just be less often and hopefully about more interesting things. (Especially now that it's almost summer!!!)

So with that being said, I guess I'll see ya when I see ya!

Sleep?

2010-04-26T23:51:00.002-05:00

Holy trout, am I tired. Thank God I don't have anything due on Wednesday. I might have actually suffered a mental breakdown if I did.

Also, it occurs to me that I unintentionally did BEDA (blog every day in April). I won't be finishing BEDA, though, since mine is more of a BEDUTEOTS. Yeah. Doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

K, I'm gonna go finish my project now so that I might actually get some sleep tonight. Except that I probably wont. FML.

Summer?

2010-04-25T22:50:00.003-05:00

I have to write a curriculum for the final project for one of my classes. It is without a doubt the most involved project I've ever had to do for any class ever. It's so involved that it's turned my brain to complete mush and thus rendered me incapable of using correct grammar.

So. You know. Sorry for that.

I have completed 31 pages of this project so far and I am almost halfway done. Yes. Almost halfway. I also have a test tomorrow that I don't have time to study for because I have to work on this damn project. *head explodes*

If you need me, I'll be hiding under my desk in firm denial of the amount of work I have to do between now and Tuesday.

T-minus 3 days!

2010-04-24T18:59:00.003-05:00

There are three days of class left in my junior year, which means there are four days left of my commitment to blog everyday until the end of the semester.

There there, now, don't fret! I'll still be around, just not everyday. Hopefully the quality of my blogs will be improving after Wednesday since the only times I will post will be when I actually have something to say. As opposed to now when I'm just attempting to keep a promise I made to myself.

.....

Yep. Improvement is definitely needed.

Til tomorrow, friends!

Blogs are really hard to write when you've been drinking

2010-04-23T23:22:00.005-05:00

LOOK WHO'S HERE!!

It's my BFF Barbie! (and bff Lacy!!!! -Barbie) She lives in the internet. You can find her here.

Barbie was kind enough to pay me a visit this weekend. We are currently listening to 90s music and drinking beer punch. (It's better than it sounds. Ask me for the recipe :]) Let me give you a little history of Barbie and myself.

Barbie and I met in 7th grade during orchestra class. I left class for a private lesson, and when I came back Barbie was sitting in my chair. The way she tells it, she was completely intimidated by me, but I have no idea why. I'm I really nice person! I swear! *stares*

Anyway, I don't really remember the exact chain of events that led to us becoming best friends, but it happened very quickly. We were soon causing trouble all over the school, and our teachers always had to keep us separated during class. Our orchestra director, Mrs. Ewton, said that she split us up to help out the other students in the viola section, but we knew better. We were often mistaken as sisters in public. We still are.

Also, I just found out that my best friend has a distinct fear of urethras. In case you were wondering.

(Yes! All the new readers are gone now!)

(.......)

(Wait. I have readers?)

So now you know. Barbie is my bestest friend ever and has been for eight years.

Also, I apologize for the schizophrenic nature of this blog post. We are both drunkzors. So. You know.

Til tomorrow!

It's magic!

2010-04-22T13:23:00.003-05:00

Magic by Ben Folds featuring the University of Chicago Voices in Your Head: http://bit.ly/aKEwmX

I have been absolutely obsessed with this song for a couple of weeks now. It is constantly on repeat on my iPod. I literally can't seem to stop listening to it. Not that I'm complaining, mind. I can't even begin to describe how this song makes me feel, so instead I will provide you with some instructions for listening. With luck, you will have the same experience I do every time I listen to this song.

Step 1: Click the link and pause the video while it loads.

Step 2: While you are waiting, plug in your favorite headphones, preferably ones that will block out other sounds. Make sure your volume is up.

Step 3: Turn off the lights. This not only optimizes the listening experience, but it's also Earth Day. So, you know. It's a win-win situation.

Step 4: Push play, close your eyes and enjoy.

Step 5: Repeat as necessary.

What's my age again?

2010-04-21T19:28:00.004-05:00

My last day of class is exactly one week from today. I go home for summer in two and a half weeks. Sixteen days. TIL SUMMER. Ahhhhh I'm so close it hurts!

(If my friend Gustavo was reading this, he would comment with a "that's what she said" for that last sentence.)

Anyway, I can't really believe that summer is as close as it is. I absolutely can't wait to be done with this semester. I've been so busy and stressed for so long that I think I've begun to believe that it would just never end. But it is. Soon. Huzzah!! I just have one more supermassive project to get through before finals. And by "supermassive" I mean "greater than or equal to 60 pages."

Yeah.

So while I'm ~~bashing my head against my desk~~ working on that, enjoy this nice picture of a butterfly at the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens.

Timeless Tuesday

2010-04-20T23:19:00.004-05:00

I feel like it's only 8:00 p.m. I also feel like it's 3:00 in the morning.

What?

Also, I'm pretty sure I just ate my weight in taquitos and guacamole. Successful night? I think so.

Sunset in Puerto Rico

Procrastination is never a good idea...

2010-04-19T23:53:00.001-05:00

...and yet for some reason I continue to do it. Oh well. No one ever wishes they'd slept more during college. The project I'm working on right now is a technology teaching presentation for my effective teaching class. Basically I have to make a podcast teaching a topic I will theoretically teach once I'm in the classroom. Yes, it is as time consuming as it sounds. I will leave you with this picture of a bug attacking Navy Pier to enjoy while I am off pulling out my hair and daydreaming about summer. Oh, and also working on my project. Ta!

Conclusions

2010-04-18T19:44:00.002-05:00

After many conversations with friends and contemplation by way of the bottom of a glass, I have come to some conclusions:

I am one year away from graduating with a Bachelor's degree in Music Education. I'm not going to change it now, even if it isn't necessarily what I want to do with my life.
My life is my own, and I shouldn't let others' expectations influence my decisions.
I need to stop worrying about whether or not I'm good enough and just go for it, whatever "it" ends up being.

That being said, I think I've pretty much decided on what I want to do when I graduate. I would like to go to graduate school and get a Master's in English. I'm researching schools right now, but if anyone would like to offer suggestions, I would greatly appreciate it.

Froggy Games

2010-04-17T22:15:00.003-05:00

Today I volunteered for Froggy Games, which was a field day for the school near TCU for kids with Down's Syndrome. I volunteered for an assignment for one of my classes, and I am so, so glad I went. I was a little uncertain at first because I didn't really know what to expect, but those kids were just incredible.

I spent the majority of the afternoon following around a little boy named Charlie, trying (with varying degrees of success) to entertain him with a ball. Every kid there had a smile on their face the entire time. Even the siblings had a good time. This was definitely a very rewarding experience.

(All of these pictures were taken with my phone, so I apologize for the quality.)

This little boy is Jack, and JB was kind enough to let him "play" his guitar.

Zach doesn't seem to be enjoying Mark's trumpet playing very much...

...but he is more than willing to try out JB's guitar.

This is my man, Charlie, who also got a turn with the guitar.

Charlie and Zach pressed the trumpet keys while Mark blew into the trumpet.

This was the one instrument Charlie kept coming back to. He absolutely loved playing those drums.

Til tomorrow!

Party time

2010-04-16T23:13:00.004-05:00

Today was a weird day. Probably because I only got 30 minutes of sleep last night. Also probably because I took a 3.5 hour nap late this afternoon and woke up thinking it was Monday morning.

Yeah. That's about it. Later, kids.

[Turner Falls, OK]

Oops pt. 2

2010-04-15T12:40:00.002-05:00

I forgot to update yesterday. Again. I have an excuse this time, though. I was sick, and it was NOT pretty. No worries, though. My physical health has returned to normal. My mental health.... well, that remains to be seen.

A thought entered my head just a couple of hours ago and now I can't seem to let go of it. I'm actually considering dropping from music education to just music and adding an arts administration minor. That idea is extremely attractive to me, but here's the thing. I've already put three years (and lots and lots of tears and torn out hair) into this degree. Wouldn't dropping it at this point seem a little like quitting? Also, it is entirely likely that adding a minor at this point would delay my graduation by at least a semester. Couple this with the fact that I still have NO idea what to do with my life and you've got one very confused 20-something.

I really hate feeling so indecisive. I also hate the fact that others' expectations of me are very heavily influencing how I feel about this situation. It's my life! I should be able to do what I want with it. But I can't seem to shake my concern of possibly disappointing everyone. Everyone keeps saying what a good educator I'll be. But what if that's not what I want? What will they say then?

I need some chocolate, STAT.

GLEE!

2010-04-13T20:09:00.003-05:00

This is me pretending to be productive while I wait for Glee to come one. Seriously, y'all. I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT!!! =D That's it for now. I'll be back after this momentous event is complete.

This is getting harder and harder

2010-04-12T21:58:00.002-05:00

I'm going out with some friends tonight and they're waiting for me outside so I have to make this quick. Yeah, I know. Going out on a Monday night. We're awesome. :] Ok, I have to go, so enjoy this picture I took of the sky from a plane while you wait for my return.

Patience is a f%#&*@^ virtue

2010-04-11T23:54:00.002-05:00

This isn't what I intended to write about today, but I'm just so effing annoyed right now and I literally have no one/thing else to vent to. I had a concert tonight for the community orchestra I'm in, and when I got back to my apartment I was greeted by my roommate and six of her closest friends.

Before I continue, let me give you a little background on this roommate. She moved in at the beginning of this semester after my other roommate, Courtney (who is one of my closest friends and whom I miss dearly), transfered to Temple so she could be closer to her family. This new roommate, let's call her Agnes, is the exact opposite of me in every aspect. She loud, somewhat vulgar, and extremely messy. She never washes her dishes, never cleans up any messes she happens to make in the kitchen, and leaves her books and folders all over the living room. These things coupled with the fact that our living room is small and our kitchen is even smaller make for a very frustrating situation.

Right, so now she's out there with a bunch of her friends who are, as far as I can tell, obnoxiously loud theater people like she is. They're eating copious amounts of food and drinking tons of beer, and every now and then I hear a bottle fall off the table. Did I already mention the fact that they are LOUD? Seriously. These people don't just talk, they SHOUT. I guess I'm just going to have to sleep with my music on tonight. And do you know what I'm probably going to be greeted with in the morning? The remains of her little shindig. Beer bottles, trash, and dirty plates will be waiting for me in the living room/kitchen tomorrow morning, I guarantee it.

I am having an extraordinarily hard time being patient right now. Just four more weeks til I can get the fuck out of here.

I do...?

2010-04-10T11:30:00.002-05:00

I feel like everyone I know is getting engaged. I guess it makes sense since we're all gonna graduate this year or next and this is the age when people typically start getting engaged. It's just weird because I still feel like a kid and I can't imagine getting engaged right now.

Anywho, I judged a solo and ensemble contest this morning with my friend Tara (our time was volunteered by our professor....) and it wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be. The contest was for 5th and 6th grade students, so we got to hear LOTS of Suzuki. Most of the kids did really well. We actually got to give one kid an Honors rating, and he was so excited. That was probably the highlight of my morning.

Mmk well I'm gonna go take a nap now since I had to get up at stupid:30 this morning. 'Til tomorrow.

[This is the bean in Millennium Park in Chicago. I took this picture when I was there with my family a couple of years ago. Cool, huh? :)]

Quarter-life crisis

2010-04-09T16:52:00.003-05:00

I honestly have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm afraid of making any life-changing decisions because I worry that it might be the wrong one, but I'm also afraid of regretting anything I haven't done. There are so many things I want to do, all of which require resources which I don't currently possess, but I'm scared of breaking away from the path I'm currently following because this one at least has a foreseeable future.

I had a similar crisis this time last year, but I chalked it up then to the horrible living situation I had been dealing with since the previous October. My living situation right now is much better than it was last year, however, and there really isn't anything else going on in my life that might be causing me to question everything I've been doing for the past three years of my life.

I guess my main concern is that I don't want to settle. I feel like once I graduate, I'm going to start teaching, and that's going to be it. That's what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love to teach, but I don't want the rest of my life to start when I'm 22. I don't really think I was made for a career. In my ideal reality, I would work a myriad of jobs. I would try out anything that interested me. I would go back to school and get more degrees just for the sake of learning more about topics which interested me.

What will probably end up happening is me staying right where I am and wondering what would have happened if I had just been a little more courageous.

Hoppipola

2010-04-08T12:00:00.002-05:00

I will love for ever and ever anyone who can tell me from which movie this picture comes. Ta!

Is it summer yet??

2010-04-07T22:19:00.002-05:00

I'm so ready to be finished with school. I can't imagine having to do another year of this. Can't I just graduate already???

Also, I know I said I would talk about the side-by-side rehearsal in this post, but I really don't feel like writing right now. I just want to sleep forever and ever. So here's a nice picture to look at while you wait for tomorrow's post. Goodnight!

All nighters SUCK

2010-04-06T22:15:00.003-05:00

I took this picture in the library last night while I was working on the presentation I had to give today. I always tell myself that I'm going to stop procrastinating. It never happens. Anyway, we had a side-by-side rehearsal with the FWSO today (it was amazing. I'll talk more about it tomorrow), and I literally fell asleep in the middle of rehearsal. So yeah. I'm gonna go to bed now. Goodnight!

All this beauty

2010-04-05T12:00:00.003-05:00

The other day I was at the store with my dad getting groceries for dinner, and I saw this while walking down the frozen food aise:

For a while, I was trying to figure out how the Tom Thumb employees had managed to make the ice look like that, but then I realized that it had naturally frozen like that. These beautiful, leafy patterns appeared on every door in that aisle. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed, but no one else was paying much attention.

I guess this is just a little reminder to always look for the beautiful things in life, no matter where they happen to appear.

Happy Easter!!

2010-04-04T23:00:00.003-05:00

It was a good day, overall. I was feeling rather cynical at the church service this morning, but I will spare you from what was going through my head this morning. Or maybe I'll just save it for another post. Anyway, at breakfast before we went to church we got our annual easter baskets from Mom filled with dark chocolate and jelly beans and miscellaneous gifts. My favorite part was the actual basket. Isn't it adorable??

After church was Easter lunch at Mimi's house. These flowers were blooming at her neighbors house. I think they're called wisteria.

So pretty!

I didn't take any pictures of lunch, but it was delicious. We had pork, veggies, rolls, and plenty of really good wine. This picture is of what we had for desert. It's a cupcake that Mimi baked inside this jar and topped with raspberries and chocolate frosting. It was as delicious as it looks.

And of course the whole family had our annual post-Easter nap. I'm not sure about everyone else, but I slept for two hours and it was glorious. I hope everyone else had a fantastic Easter!

You are the 1345098th viewer!

2010-04-03T22:00:00.003-06:00

Congratulations! You have been awarded the chance to look inside Lacy's mind! In this blog post you will experience what no other meanderer of the internet has ever before experienced! Prepare yourself, for what you are about to read... may shock you.

"Oh. It's 11:00. I haven't written my blog for today yet. Guess I should do that.

*stares blankly at screen*

"I'm out of things to write about. I've exhausted all my resources. Why did I decide to do this again? Maybe I should just switch to every other day. Or every few days. Or whenever I feel like it."

Ok, I can't do this. My stream of conscious is just as uninteresting as my actual life. So yeah, here's today's post. Hopefully I'll have some interesting Easter pictures/stories for y'all tomorrow.

Fridays are good

2010-04-02T21:15:00.003-06:00

I dyed eggs with my mom today. Well, it was more like she watched me while I dyed them. It was a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be. Rather than bore you with the details, I will just show you the pictures.

There were more than this but these were the only ones worth photographing.

We had to get some school spirit in there. Doug made the A&M one. The bottom says "Whooooop!"

My typing is disturbing Sparky's sleeping. Look at that glare! Guess that's my cue. 'TIl tomorrow, then!

Well hey there, Sand Man

2010-04-01T22:30:00.002-06:00

I don't really want to write anything right now. I was going to post a YouTube video, but YouTube isn't loading for some reason. Phooey.

The good news is that I'm home for Easter. No class tomorrow due to Good Friday, which means I get to SLEEP. Halleluia.

Sorry for the lameness of today's post. If anyone is actually reading this, feel free to complain about it in a comment.

...kbye!

Brunettes have more fun

2010-03-31T22:38:00.003-06:00

I dyed my hair! This picture doesn't really do a good job of showing the new color, but it's a few shades darker than it was before. I really like it. =)

In other news (I say this a lot, don't I? I'm gonna have to come up with another phrase), I pulled two all-nighters in a row the past couple of nights and am extraordinarily tired, so I am gonna go on to bed. 'Til next time!

I heart wine

2010-03-30T21:00:00.000-06:00

I love it when I find a cheap wine that's super delicious. This was about $6 at Target. If you like fruity wines, I suggest giving this one a try. Also, it has a screw top which is always a plus in my book.

In other news, I pulled an all-nighter last night so I could get the rough draft of a project finished. My rough draft was 23 pages long. I thought mine was going to be one of the longer ones, but when I got to class I discovered that most people's drafts were between 20 and 40 (!!) pages. I don't even want to think about how long the final project is going to be...

Anyway, the reason I am confessing about my all-nighter is because right now I am attempting to study for a test I have tomorrow and it is really, really hard to do. The three hour nap I took earlier and the copious amounts of caffeine I've had since I woke up don't seem to be doing me any good. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be staying up very late tonight.

Who decided that this would be a good idea??

2010-03-29T08:36:00.003-06:00

Oh, right. I did.

I started doing this because I wanted to get back into the habit of writing, but lately it's just been kind of a hassle. Also, I got the idea for this little challenge while I was on Spring Break, blissfuly free from any and all school work.

Of course, now that I've been back for a while, updating my blog every single day is a much harder task than I thought it was going to be. Particularly since I never really have anything to say. I mean, let's be totally honest with ourselves. Who wants to sit around and read all the random crap that comes out of my brain when I'm super-duper stressed? Right. That's what I thought.

So anyway, I figured I'd just go ahead and get today's post out of the way while I have some time before class. Although I really should be working on the rough draft of that project that's due tomorrow.

Also, can I just say that updating my blog while drinking coffee at Einstein's makes me feel really urban and chic? I feel like I should be surrounded by skyscrapers and busy business people rushing in and out while I watch them from my seat in this booth. Never mind the fact that I haven't showered and look like I just rolled out of bed and came straight here. Which, you know. I did.

Right, well I do actually have to go to class now. I hope to God we don't have a quiz today because I didn't read the chapter and I am all out of freebies. Here's hopin'.

'Til tomorrow!

Here's today's blog

2010-03-28T22:13:00.001-06:00

Oops

2010-03-27T18:22:00.002-06:00

I forgot to update my blog yesterday. I doubt anyone noticed, though.

I used to get headaches a lot. Seriously, I used to get headaches every couple of days, and more often than not they were debilitating. Thankfully I don't get them as often anymore, but when I do get them they're pretty bad. Like the one I have right now. Thankfully the Excedrin is starting to kick it. It feels like a blanket over my brain, if you can imagine that.

Um, yeah.

Anyway.

I slept for 14 hours last night. I feel like I could probably do the same tonight. I have a lot of catching up to do from last week. So yeah. I'm gonna go do that now. Goodnight, imaginary readers!

I just want to sleeeeeeep

2010-03-25T18:50:00.002-06:00

I tried to post from my phone yesterday, but it doesn't seem to have appeared. Hmmm..

In other news, I am severely sleep deprived. It may be a while before I can write another coherent post.

Umm. Yeah. Bye.

Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweek!

2010-03-23T17:40:00.002-06:00

My life is so much less interesting now that I'm back at school. Also, my camera battery is dead and I can't find the charger. Sad face.

In other news, I'm about halfway done with my paper. So, yeah. Hopefully I'll be wrapping that up soon.

Also, my cousin is cuter than yours. KTHXBAI!

Stress

2010-03-22T18:19:00.004-06:00

I have a term paper due Friday. I may have mentioned that before. I still have a ton of work to do. I also have a rough draft of a project due next Tuesday. The final draft of this project will probably be between 40 and 60 pages in length. I haven't started because I've had too much other stuff to do.

So, yeah. If my posts over the next few days seem less than sane, that's why.

Snow, now with 100% more pictures!

2010-03-21T16:17:00.002-06:00

Snow, wtf?

2010-03-20T17:22:00.002-06:00

It occurs to me that I haven't updated my blog yet today. So... yeah. Here we go.

Yesterday it was 70 degrees and sunny here in North Texas. Now? It's 34 degrees and snowing. WTF?!?! I'd post a picture of the snow for you, but it's itty bitty and isn't showing up in any of my pictures. Boo.

Well, since I have absolutely nothing to talk about, I'm going to just post an oldish picture and call this post a wrap.

Welcome to the world, Vera =)

2010-03-19T16:54:00.000-06:00

This is Vera. Ain't she purdy? =)

VW gives you flowers when you get a brand new Beetle. =)

That's all I have to report today. 'Til tomorrow!

R.I.P. Sadie

2010-03-18T17:53:00.003-06:00

Sadie Saab, March 2009 - March 2010

Sadie was a 2000 Saab 95 with a leather interior and a sunroof. She became my second car when my first car, the unnamed 2002 Saturn L200, was savagely murdered in an accident that took place about a year ago (it wasn't my fault and I wasn't hurt). Sadie was a very good car, but she went senile in old age and began to cost more in repairs than she was worth. Today, after she started spewing plumes of bluish-white smoke out of her exhaust, my dad refused to put any more money towards her repairs. Rest in peace, Sadie. You will be missed.

In other news, I'm getting a new car. A brand. New. Car. It will look something like this:

I'll post pictures of mine once I bring her home tomorrow. I think I'll name her Vera.... =)

Adventures in Downtown Dallas

2010-03-17T16:15:00.005-06:00

In which we miss the best Stars game of the season, find a seriously legit coffee house with excellent music, and meet an archetypal, all-knowing guide on the train back.

The evening had a promising start. We went to the Great Outdoors for dinner, which was really good. I'd never been there before and was very happy to discover yet another sandwich place for me to frequent (I really like sandwiches...). After that, though, our plan started to fall apart. We were supposed to get on the 6:05 DART train to Victory Park (pictured above), which is where the game was taking place. Naturally, we missed the train and had to wait for the next one to show up, which wasn't until 6:35. Then, for whatever reason, the train kept stopping in the middle of the track for minutes at a time. This must have happened five or six times on the way down. Well, needless to say, we didn't get there until after the game had started and had to wait in a fairly long line for tickets. Once we got to the ticket counter, we were informed that the only tickets left were individual seats located in all different sections. So, yeah. We didn't go to the game.

Well, we were already in downtown, so we might as well find something to do. We were pretty close to the West End, so we decided to walk around there and see what we could find. Surprisingly, not much was open. Two of our group were under 21, so that meant no going to a bar to watch the game from there. Eventually we remembered this coffee shop we passed on the train into town, so we turned around and made our way back toward the tracks.

The name of the coffee shop was the Back Beat Cafe and Listening Room, and it's definitely the best coffee house I've ever been to. It has 50's throwback decor, six or seven different kinds of coffee, smoothies, desserts, even a little mini bar with some beer and wine.

Connected to the cafe by a smallish hallway was the listening room. Check out that chandelier! The atmosphere was very chill, and we were content to just sit there and enjoy the live music.

The group that was playing when we got there wasn't actually that great. I can't remember what they called themselves, but they're from San Francisco. The piano was good, but that's about it.

We considered leaving after the first group was finished, but when we heard the second group starting to play, we decided to stay and check them out. That turned out to be a very good decision. The group was called The Noise FM. I'm not sure where they're from, but I really enjoyed their show. They only played for about an hour, maybe a little less, so when they were finished we walked back to the train station.

We were surprised to notice that one of the women who was on our train to Victory Park was also on our train back. We started talking to her and when she helped us decide what to do with the rest of our evening (it was NCIS vs. Firefly), we decided that she was the archetypal guide sent to help us along our path.... or something.

Anywho, that's the end of the story. My life seems to get more exciting on Spring Break. I should take breaks more often..... =)

'Til tomorrow!

Schtuff, Plano edition

2010-03-16T14:50:00.000-06:00

On the left is a super-mini snow globe supposedly filled with gold flakes. I got it from the Alaska State Museum when I went with Mimi (my grandma, for anyone who doesn't know) when I was 12. At the time, I really though it was worth something. Now I realize that it's probably just aluminum foil that's been painted gold.... Oh well!

On the right is a ceramic something-or-other that I made with my mom several years ago. Hobby Lobby (or was it Michael's...?) used to have this station where you could paint all sorts of ceramic things and they would glaze and bake them for you. Very cool. Does anyone know of any places that still do this?

I'm pretty sure I got this from the Dallas Museum of Art. I used to go all the time with Mimi when I was a kid, and I probably got this thinking that I was acquiring some super valuable relic from ancient Egypt. This is obviously not the case, but I still like it. =)

Behind the cat and to the left is a tiger from Lord knows where. These and the items in the first picture are on my dresser along with a bunch of other miscellaneous stuff, and they've all been in the same place since we moved to this house in 2003. I have no idea where most of it came from.

Anyway, behind the cat and to the right is a picture of my great-grandparents, Nana and Grindad. Grindad passed away when I was 5 or 6 and Nana passed away about six months later. I don't remember much about them since I was so young when they passed away, but the memories I do have consist mostly of photographs and feelings and smells. For instance, I remember their house having a very distinct smell to it. I don't remember it being a bad smell, but it was very unique to Nana and Grindad. I also remember Grindad letting us (my brother and I) crawl up on his lap while he told us stories. Grindad had very big ears, and he was always good-natured about letting us play with them. There are a lot of memories starting to come to mind as I'm writing about them, but I think I will save them for another post.

This gem is sitting on my desk, and as you can see, it is a Pink Power Ranger figurine circa 1995. (I actually have no idea when I got this...) My brother and I were obsessed with Power Rangers when we were kids. During the summer, we would go out in our front yard and pretend to be Power Rangers. I was always the Pink Power Ranger, and I usually made Doug be Rita. There were sprinklers involved in this game, but I don't remember what their purpose was other than providing relief from the 100 degree weather. I also went as the Pink Ranger for Halloween one year. The costume came with these gloves that, when you closed your fist, made a punching noise. Needless to say, I wore them for several weeks after Halloween was over.

In other news, I'm going to a Stars game tonight with the same crew I was hanging out with yesterday. Pictures and videos will be taken, and you'll get to hear all about it tomorrow. Aren't you EXCITED? Good. 'Cause you should be. =) 'Til tomorrow!

Exciting moments in Lacy's life, part two!

2010-03-16T01:15:00.001-06:00

Ok, so I realize that it's TECHNICALLY Tuesday, but it still feels like Monday to me. So, yeah. still on with the challenge. :]

I got to meet up with some of my high school/church buddies today which was an awesome, wonderful thing. We went to TC's Shaved Ice and got some... you guessed it.... shaved ice! I got the cherry flavor. It was initially really delicious, but after a while I just couldn't take the sweetness anymore.

Evan discovered that he could make an Italian flag from his, Amy's, and Alisha's flavors. Tada!

After we got our shaved ice we had a little chill sesh in Evan's car because the wind was making it too cold to sit outside and enjoy the sun. Evan put on this mix CD he had in his car and one of the bands on it was called Dragonforce. Apparently they're a metal band with hits such as "Invocation of Apocolyptic Evil," "Strike of the Ninja," and, wait for it.... "Where Dragons Rule." That's right, folks. A metal band singing about dragons. How 'bout them apples?

Anywho, after we all finished (or mostly finished, in my case) our treats, our tongues were dyed some rather interesting colors. Mine was the most... well... you can probably see for yourselves. 'Twas very, very red.

Fast forward a few hours and we were over at Alisha's house playing Beatles Rockband, Mario Kart Wii, and making cranberry orange muffins from scratch. I forgot to take pictures of that, though. :[ Oh wellz.

Ok, well I realize this has probably been the most exciting and wonderful thing you've read all day today, but I am incredibly tired and just wanna get this over with, so..... goodnight! =)

Challenge!!!

2010-03-14T09:30:00.007-06:00

Pete is helping me write today's blog.

Ok, y'all. Since it is evident that I don't update my blog nearly enough, I am challenging myself to write every day until the end of the semester.

Every. Single. Day.

The semester officially ends on April 28, and my last exam is May 7. Hopefully y'all will be hearing a lot from me between now and then. Does anyone want to volunteer to keep me accountable? Anyone? No? *crickets*

...Right. Let's get this thing started, shall we?

Today's post isn't going to be about anything in particular, and I imagine that most of my posts for the next month and a half will be the same way. My idea for this challenge came from my cousin, Tricia (see my previous post and the comment she left). I guess my reason for doing this is not only to update my blog more than once every other month, but also to get back into the habit of just getting things out of my head via writing. I do that to some extent on Twitter, but 140 characters isn't always enough. I also just want to practice writing more. Maybe if I write more frequently on anything and everything I can think of, I'll be able to write stories again. Or anything, for that matter.

On a completely unrelated note, Spring Break has finally started, and guess what I get to do with it??

That's right! I get to read ALL of these books and work on my term paper! Woohoo!!!

It's my fault, really. I should have gotten more work done on this when I had the chance. But alas, my paper is due by the end of next week and the only thing I've managed to accomplish thus far has been to check out these books. Oh well. Guess I'd better get started!

'Til tomorrow. =)

I want to be famous on the internet

2009-11-29T20:41:00.002-06:00

Can someone please tell me how to make this happen? Thanks.

Also: I wish I had never lost my ability to just sit down and write anything. When did I lose that passion? Let me post this question in a more general way, and maybe then someone can provide me with an answer.

Why do our passions fade away?

I hesitate to say that I lost my passion for writing. Perhaps what I mean to say is that I've simply lost the ability to channel the thoughts in my head into writing on paper. Or on a computer. Whatever. I think it started to fade when I started college two years ago. I was so focused on trying to get all of my work accomplished and on getting my college career started off right that I no longer had time to write down whatever happened to pop into my head. Or perhaps I never allowed myself time to do so. In any event, the only writing I do anymore is for papers and the occasional post here.

I don't really know where I was going with that. I'm just rambling.

Speaking of papers, I have four due in the next week and a half. I guess I should go get started on those.

Toodle loo!

Facebook

2009-10-24T00:14:00.002-05:00

Facebook keeps making these suggestions about people I should be friends with or groups I should join. Its latest thing is to suggest that you write on the wall of someone you haven't spoken to in a while. The person it suggested I "reconnect" with was my friend Jeffrey. He passed away in February.

:[[

I can't believe it's been 8 months already. I can't believe it happened in the first place.

I miss you, Jeffrey. I hope the music in heaven is as beautiful as yours. <3

Tweet tweet

2009-10-11T22:50:00.003-05:00

I blog better in 140 characters or less.

www.twitter.com/cactuslacy

In other news, I had my first experience as a teacher today. Let's just say that it's a good thing I'm still in school. I've got a TON to learn.

Not much else to say. October has been a pretty depressing month so far. I really wish the sun would come back. I also wish Texas trees would look more like this:

...and less like this:

Glee and Flash Forward are calling my name. 'Til next time.

Still not dead...

2009-09-28T01:44:00.003-05:00

...just a negligent blogger.

Nothing really exciting is going on in my life right now. I'm super stressed with school but I think that's mostly my doing. Especially when you take into account the fact that I procrastinate on everything and rarely finish the reading assignments for my classes.

But whatever.

I'm at the library right now with Courtney. I already finished what I came here to work on (hence the blogging), and now I'm just waiting for her to finish so we can go home and go to sleep.

See? Boring life.

Well I hope this entry hasn't put anyone to sleep. This is pretty much my life right now. Boring and sleepless. I have some pretty bitchin roommates, though, so that makes things a little more exciting.

Right. It's two in the morning and I obviously have no idea what I'm saying, so I'm just gonna stop now.

Peace.

I'm not dead yet

2009-07-26T16:29:00.007-05:00

Hello interwebz!

I don't really know why I'm addressing the entire internet. I really should just address Tricia since I'm pretty sure she's the only one who reads this.

Anyway, hello to Tricia and to anyone else who happened to stumble upon this. I would just like to inform you that contrary to what my posting habits may have led you to believe, I am not, in fact, dead. I'm quite alive, actually, just very, very inactive.

I don't have much to talk about in this post, but I'm planning on writing an entry soon on all of the books I've read so far this summer. That number is constantly climbing, however, so we'll see how well that endeavor goes.

In other news, I have been to four states in the past two weeks: Florida, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Michigan. The first was on a trip with the college choir from my church, the next two while I was visiting my college roommate, and the fourth.... well, that memory is still a little too fresh and equal parts painful and embarassing, so I'll leave that for another post. Probably one in which I recount my travels in more detail.

One more thing before I resume wandering about the internet instead of enjoying the beautiful (and extraordinarily hot) weather: I've recently become a fan of the Vlogbrothers. They are brothers (surprise) who have decided to cease all textual communication and communicate only by a daily vlog which they post to a YouTube channel they share. They're both uber nerdy and hilariously awesome. I highly recommend that you check them out.

Til next time!

P.S. I'm sorry the format fails.... I've tried numerous times to fix it but the paragraphs are determined to stay single-spaced. Boo :[

Summer lovin'

2009-05-28T21:38:00.001-05:00

Or lovin summer, however you want to put it. I spent virtually the entire day outside today reading, swimming, and just generally enjoying the sunshine. The picture is the view of my backyard from where I sat while I read. God bless summer and sunny, cloudless days :)

Mobile blogging... Woo!

2009-05-21T17:11:00.001-05:00

I just downloaded this app on my iPhone that will let me post pictures here and add titles and descriptions and all that jazz. Woohoo! The goofy-lookin kid in the picture is my brother. He's graduating in June and he was modeling his cap and gown for us the other night. I'm not sure what that expression is on his face, though...

I haven't been up to a whole lot since I've been home. I went to Chicago last week with my dad and had a great time. That is, until I got home and realized that I'd left virtually all of my stuff at the hotel. Don't ask how it happened, because I really have no idea. You can imagine how ridiculous I felt calling up the hotel and reporting all of my missing things. All is well, though, because they're shipping it back to me free of charge. Anyway, we got back from Chicago on Saturday, and I've been doing nothing but watching movies since. God, I love summer :)

Til next time!

2009-05-08T11:26:00.001-05:00

My dad and I have been talking recently about how nice it would be to have iPhones, so yesterday we went to the apple store and now I have one!! (he'll get his in a couple of weeks... Long story.) so right now I'm experimenting with my first mobile blog post, even though my computer is about 5 feet from where I am right now and I could just as easily do it from there. Doing it from a phone is much more fun though. :)

My summer break started on Wednesday afternoon and I have been so relaxed and happy since then. I think most of my recent posts have been kind of depressing, or at least not very happy, but all of that has changed now that I'm home. It's really amazing how much control the environment you're in has over your mood.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm going to Chicago with my dad next week, so I'll probably be doing some more mobile
Blogging then. :) ta!

Summer

2009-05-05T18:19:00.005-05:00

It's almost here! This is my last night at TCU for three months. I have one more exam tomorrow and then I'm OUTTA HERE!!! I really feel like the summer is going to cure everything that has gone wrong this semester. I'm going to miss my friends like crazy (especially Courtney!), but I really just need to get away from this place for a while. I've been doing some thinking since the post before last, and I really think that my living situation has been the primary reason why I've been so unhappy this semester. Everything's going to be just fine. All I have to do now is worry about making an 81 on my music history exam so I can have all A's this semester. Which means I need to go study....

Til next time:

"Faith is believing that one of two things will happen," she said. "That there will be something solid for you to stand on, or that you will be taught to fly." -- Unknown

Why do projects...

2009-04-21T01:15:00.003-05:00

...when I can procrastinate instead?

I took a quiz on Facebook the other day expecting some silly or bogus answer (the question was "What is your life color?"), and got a rather surprising result. It is extraoridnarily accurate and has somehow managed to put into words what I previously could not. I know it sounds silly to put so much stock into an online quiz, especially one designed on Facebook, but just read the response and maybe it will make more sense.

"Fantasy, enchantment, dreams, myths, spiritual beings, angels, fairies are all concepts which fill the Lavenders' mind. Lavenders tend to live in a fantasy world. They prefer to spend their time out of their bodies, where life is pretty and enchanting. It is challenging for these airy beings to live in three-dimensional reality. Lavenders prefer imaginary pictures of the world, seeing butterflies, flowers and wood nymphs rather than dirt, concrete and large cities. Physical reality seems cold and harsh to them. These sensitive creatures are fragile and frail, and their physical appearance is often weak and pale. Lavenders' skin is often alabaster white because they don't like being outdoors, unless it is to be gently surrounded by beautiful flowers and gardens. These child-like personalities are sensitive and simple. Lavenders would rather spend time watching clouds float by or daydreaming. They prefer to escape this reality with all of its demands and responsibilities. The Lavender's behavior tends to frustrate others who may expect them to be dependable and responsible. Lavenders have no understanding of what it means to hold a responsible job or to earn money. They are more familiar with other dimensions and imagined realities. Lavenders even have a difficult time relating to or connecting with the concepts of time, space and physical matter. They tend to experience events in their imaginations, but they are not usually grounded enough in physical reality to actually accomplish anything tangible."

I've bolded the parts I found to be particuarly accurate. I think most of it speaks for itself. I have more to say about it, but I'm not really sure how to articulate it, so I'll just leave you with this instead:

Numb

2009-04-16T11:27:00.011-05:00

I think college has smothered all feelings out of me. Or at least my ability to feel anything. I haven't been happy in a long time. I don't like my major anymore. I'm even finding it hard to be passionate about music, which is the only thing I have ever really cared about. The only other thing I could really put on that list was writing, and I haven't done any of that since the beginning of freshman year.

Where has my passion gone? Why don't I care about anything anymore? I'm burned out, and have been for a while, but can that really be the reason for this numbness?

I want the old me back. I want me pre-college. Happy and carefree and eternally optimistic.

Where did that girl go?

On a different note, I took this picture from a plane a few years ago. It makes me think that maybe things will get better someday.

The lonely are such delicate things

2009-03-28T22:12:00.005-06:00

I haven't really been feeling like myself lately. The past few weeks have been weird. I'm never motivated to do anything, and I always want to be somewhere other than where I am. I'm restless and tired at the same time. I've been burned out since the beginning of the semester. I'm tired of being ignored by my roommate.

I just want to go home.

In other news, my Saturn ended up being totalled (I cried a little bit, I'll admit) and I got a new car last Monday. Here are some of the dealership pictures of it. It's a 2000 Saab 9-5. It has leather seats and a sunroof and her name is Sadie. :]

"The lonely are such delicate things,
The wind from a wasp could blow them
Into the sea, with rocks on their feet,
Lost to the light and the loving we need."

A Comet Appears -- The Shins

Death of a passenger-side door

2009-03-08T21:44:00.010-06:00

Last week was probably one of the busiest and most stressful weeks I've had in a while. Needless to say, I was really looking forward to this weekend. I had it all planned out. Saturday: sleep til noon, run errands, do everything that's due Monday. Sunday: sleep til noon, go visit Tricia and Jake while they're in town. It was supposed to be a great weekend. But Murphy, whoever he was, was right: if something can go wrong, it will.

I decided to grab some lunch before I went to Walmart, so I grabbed my favorite sandwich from Quizno's to-go: the Italian. I turned out of the parking lot into the right lane and was on my merry way when a woman coming out of the next entrance down failed to see me as she came out into the street. Needless to say, she barrelled right into me:

Well, I didn't get any of my work done yesterday, and since I am now car-less, I wasn't able to go see Tricia today. Now it's 11:30 p.m., I still have a mountain of work to do, and so far this week isn't looking to be any better than the last.

Is it Spring Break, yet?!

ATX and saying goodbye to a friend

2009-03-02T19:56:00.011-06:00

I took a trip to Austin this weekend to visit one friend and say goodbye to another.

On Saturday afternoon we had a very windy picnic on Mount Bonnell. We didn't stay for very long because the wind made the trip significantly less enjoyable than it would have been otherwise, but I did get a couple of good pictures in before we left.

(Houdini didn't go to Mount Bonnell with us, but he's still cute. :])

There was a memorial service Saturday evening for our friend Jeffrey, who passed away three weeks ago. It was a very sad sort of reunion. I saw alot of people I hadn't seen in a long time, including Christine (below), who I hadn't seen since graduation.

The service that Jeffrey's friends at UT put on for him was really good and was a great way to say goodbye, but it was so sad. I don't think the reality of his death will ever be 100% for me. How can Jeffrey, who was so alive for every moment of his life, be gone just like that? Life is precious and altogether too short, but most of all it's not fair. Why else would anyone so good be allowed to die so young?

Pictures and procrastination

2009-02-23T23:15:00.008-06:00

I have been requested by my cousin to post some of my "amazing" pictures. I'm not sure about amazing, but here are some of my faves that I've taken recently (just for you, Trish =]) :

The Botanic Gardens in Fort Worth are a really great place to escape to if you just need to get away. I plan on making frequent trips there once the weather is more consistantly warm. :]

Me with Mika, my best friend's boyfriend's dog. They ended up having to sell her, but she's still precious. :]

Sunset on Lake Travis on New Year's Eve Day (what a mouthful!)

My parents sent me flowers for my birthday :]

They drove out to Fort Worth with my Mimi and we all went out to a really nice dinner to celebrate (my mom and I have the same birthday). This was my desert -- baked cinnamon apples. Mmmm :]

Some neat looking violins at the TMEA (Texas Music Educators Association) convention in San Antonio

This is probably my favorite part of San Antonio. I always know where I am when I'm at the Big Orange Thing! =P

And a miscellaneous macro pic... just because. :]

So there's that. In retrospect, I guess I shouldn't say that they're my favorite ones that I've taken recently, since they go all the way back to November. (They're all in chronological order, by the way.) I really do need to go do all this homework I've been putting off, though, so here's a quote to hold you over til next time:

“Just living is not enough. One much have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” – Hans Christian Anderson

Ta!

Rest in peace, Jeffrey

2009-02-15T23:19:00.004-06:00

July 1, 1989 - February 15, 2009

You left way too soon... I still can't belive you're gone. I'm sorry that we lost touch after high school. Keep writing music up there in heaven. Rest in peace.

I hate my life

2009-02-11T01:33:00.004-06:00

Ok, I don't really, but I do hate this music history project. I also hate the fact that I left it for the last minute, and the fact that I didn't really have much other choice because I had so much other crap to do before that.

CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE A BREAK?! Is that really so much to ask???

I mean, really.... I can't remember the last time I went to bed before midnight, and each time I've stayed up it's been because I've had something to do.

I really don't know how I'm going to manage to finish this by tomorrow. Or today. What day is it again? Anyway, I'm going to go back to trying to do this project while still maintaining my sanity. Wish me luck.

Escape

2009-02-08T18:21:00.007-06:00

I recently had a conversation with one of my professors about backpacking across Europe after grad school, and that idea has turned into a thought that I can't seem to get out of my head.

For the past two weeks, I've felt increasingly trapped in my life here. I feel like I'm in a cage, like I'm tied down and can't go anywhere else. What started as something to daydream about has turned into an obsession that is putting some rather surprising thoughts into my head. I want to pack up some essentials, my laptop, and my camera, get in my car, and just drive away. I want to work odd jobs here and there, just enough to earn some gas money, and keep on going. I want to go everywhere; I want to see everything. I want to meet people. I want to fall in love. I want to stay on the move and never ever settle down until I meet someone who's willing to come chase after me.

Before now, the plan has been simple: go to college, go to grad school, come back to Plano and teach. The end. Now, the thought of completing that goal is terrifying. If I stick to that plan, my chance to explore the world will be over in four years. Four years!! There's too much I want to do, too much I want to see to be settling in one place so soon.

No, I'm going to go to grad school in the northeast and study something interesting. Maybe music. Maybe not. I've always found other cultures fascinating, so maybe I'll study anthropology instead. After that, who knows? Maybe I'll stay up north and work in a book store. Maybe I'll take some night classes so I can finally learn all those languages I've been dying to learn. I'll save up some money and buy a one-way ticket to London. I'll start there and work my way around Western Europe. Maybe I'll go to Eastern Europe, too. Maybe I'll fall in love with someone there and decide to stay. Or maybe I'll just get burned out and come home, instead. Maybe I'll do all of it. Maybe I'll do none of it.

Maybe my life will be over in four years, after all.

(I can't even begin to tell you how frightening that prospect is.)

The uncertainty of the future the scariest thing I face right now. For now, I'll just concentrate on the tasks set before me and hope my life doesn't end before I want it to.

I'm just an escapist who wants to get away and never look back.

Change?

2008-12-01T22:18:00.004-06:00

I used to be a dreamer. I used to have wild fantasies about meeting prince charming and riding off into the sunset. I used to rely solely on fate to lead me to my next destination.

…where did I go? When did I become so different? There are still little bits of me that cling to those things, but they are an endangered species and are quickly becoming extinct.

What made me change?

It’s not that I dislike who I am now… I just miss who I used to be.

Scratch that. I do dislike who I am now. The old Lacy was loud to an obnoxious degree and wasn’t afraid of putting herself out there. This new Lacy rarely ever speaks and tends to shy away from social interaction. The old Lacy disliked confrontation but wouldn’t back down from it when presented with a difficult situation. This new Lacy hates confrontation to such a degree that she’s letting an important friendship go down the drain rather than talking the issue out.

I’ve always known that I’ve been a bundle of contradictions. Even before this change occurred, I could identify the parts of me that were the opposite of the traits I presented at the time. Now, the other half of me seems to have taken over. Normally I embrace change. It’s scary, but it’s exciting at the same time. This change, however…

I’m not ok with this.

Football in a Hurricane and the Effects of 3.5 Hour Naps

2008-09-14T00:18:00.013-05:00

Today was a pretty amazing day, all things considered. TCU's football game was at noon today instead of 6 in an effort to avoid the brunt of Ike, though ironically enough I think we got it worse at noon than we would have at six. Although I was sleeping through what was supposed to be the worst part of the storm so I guess I wouldn't really know. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I watched the first quarter on TV cause I still wasn't quite awake yet (it's the weekend... gimme a break!), but after much cajoling by my friends, I went in time to see the start of the second quarter and the rest of the game. Well of course I wasn't thinking when I left my room and so didn't realize I'd forgotten my umbrella until I got there and it started raining. Fortunately for me, both of my friends had ponchos on, so I huddled up between them whenever it started raining.

The weather wasn't actually as bad as I was expecting it to be. I mean it was really windy and it was pretty much raining sideways throughout the entire game, but I was expecting something close to the apocalypse so it wasn't really too bad. I didn't bring my camera with me cause I didn't want it to get wet, but I wish I had so I could have documented the craziness. We actually had a really good time, and after a while the fans started chearing for Ike. It was pretty amazing. And aside from some really awful calls by the refs, we won the game 31 14. And can I just go ahead and say how RUDE the Stanford band was? We were really respectful during their alma mater, and they played right through ours! It was made even worse by the fact that they were on OUR turf and totally disrespecting us.

Anyway, I was pretty much soaked by the end of the game and couldn't wait to get into some DRY. When my roommate got back (she's in colorguard), we decided it was high time for a nap. I don't know how long she slept for since she went to sleep after me and woke up before I did, but I definitely slept for three and a half hours. It was a really deep sleep, too. I had about three different dreams and thought it was Sunday morning when I woke up. Needless to say, I am now wide awake. I've been tooling around on the internet as a result of my current insomnia, and LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND! This is pretty much the coolest website I have ever seen. You upload a picture of yourself and the website shows you what you would have looked like back in the day. It goes all the way from 1950 to 2000. I saved too many pictures to post, but here are my faves:

1958. Check out that collar!

1962. How on earth do you a) style your hair like that and b) make it stay?!

1976. I think my mom used to have a similar haircut... and probably a similar shirt.

1978. This one's my fave. I've ALWAYS wanted a fro. Too bad I don't have the right kind of hair!

1986. Does anyone else think that hairdo looks like Michael Jackson's from around the same time?

2000. It was only 8 years ago and it's kind of hard for me to imagine the fashion then being any different from the fashion now. 'Course, I was only 11 at the time. I don't think I even knew what fashion was...

Anywho, it is now 1:37 and I figure it's high time for me to make an attempt at sleeping. It's either that or work on the history homework I've been neglecting, and as much as I enjoy my history class, I enjoy sleep astronomically more. :]

Jacob

2008-09-12T17:58:00.004-05:00

There's been an addition to the family. On Tuesday, September 9, Jacob Luke Awbrey was born to my cousin Tricia and her husband Jordan. He is 7 lbs 10 oz and the most beautiful baby that has ever been born to anyone. =)

In other news, life has been pretty busy for me lately. I'm historian of two different organizations on campus, plus all of the work I supposed to be doing for my classes. I'm currently working on three instruments, plus voice. That's a TON of practicing. Not to mention homework for all my other classes. So far I've been able to balance things fairly well. I even have a semblance of a social life, which is a change from last year. I just hope the work doesn't start to pile up as the semester goes on. The stress is already starting to have effects on my face!

Anywho, I'm going to go hunker down and hide from Ike and maybe get a few things accomplished in the process. Until next time! :]

Wearing Thin

2008-09-02T12:41:00.005-05:00

Goodness, it's only the first day of the week and I'm already exhausted! This may or may not have something to do with the fact that I stayed up til 1:15 last night. ANYWAY....

I feel like I need to explain my bad mood and moody entry from last night. The reason for my bad mood was "Realize" by Colbie Caillat. My friend Tara wanted me to listen to it because it's supposedly her life story (it is... I'm pretty sure Colbie Caillat was chanelling Tara when she wrote it), and the song and the music video are so sad that it put me in a really unhappy mood. I started listening to my ever-faithful happy music, but for some reason last night it just made me even more melancholy. My roommate had already gone to bed so it was just me, sad music, and my thoughts. And so last night's entry was born. It turns out, however, that Barbie did try to call me earlier in the evening, but I had left my phone in my car and thus didn't get it. So everything is just hunky dory right now and no need to fret, etc. I'm in a much better mood today despite the fact that I could probably sleep for three hours at least if I fell asleep right now.

As it is, however, I need to leave for class ahora mismo (it's been three years since I've taken Spanish so forgive me if that's incorrect). Peace!

BFFF?

2008-09-01T23:41:00.006-05:00

Ok so I realize it's been almost a month since my last entry, but I think it's safe for me to say that y'all (whoever "y'all" happen to be) can expect irregular updates from me. Anyhow, I really do have a reason for writing this, and that reason is that I really need to get the following complaint off my chest, but I'm not sure who to talk to about it or really even how to say it. So here goes, and wish me luck.

I love my best friend to death. She's pretty much my other half/the sister I never had, et cetera et cetera et cetera. Here's the thing: I'm always waiting on her. At least, I feel like I'm always waiting on her. When we're at home and I call her to hang out, she's got some things to do and she'll call me when she's done. Or she's gonna go get a late dinner and she call me when she's back. When I call her up just cause I wanna talk about nothing in particular, she's in the middle of something or is on her way to somewhere and will call me when she's done doing whatever it is. Sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't.

Here's the other thing: when she doesn't have a boyfriend, she's looking for one. She has one right now, and he's pretty much Mr. Perfect. I feel like our relationship as friends comes second to theirs as significant others or lovers or whatever you want to call it. They talk more often and see each other more often and do everything more often. And I realize this all sounds petty and stupid and it probably is, but it really bothers me sometimes.

What prompted me to write this entry tonight was that earlier today she suggested we scheduled some time to talk since we can't really seem to catch each other, especially now that we're back in school, and I suggested tonight. She agreed. We didn't talk. Now while I admit to letting my computer go idle at one point while I got distracted by Sex and the City in the other room, I waited faithfully on the internet and by my phone. I don't know if the time she decided to get on was at the same time my computer decided to turn off, but we still have phones, don't we?

I guess the real problem is that I go out of my way and around the corner for every single one of my friends, and for little things, too. If I'm in the middle of something and they want to talk, I drop what I'm doing and talk. Rarely do I feel like they'd do the same for me. It just seems to be manifesting itself more clearly in me and Barbie's relationship than with anyone else. And don't take this to mean that I'm angry with Barbie or anything, because I'm not. She'd have to do something extraordinarily awful for me to even consider being angry with her. I just wish that my friends would think about doing for me what I'd do in a heartbeat for them.

I think this is something I'd eventually like to bring up with her, but I have a tendency to avoid confrontation at all costs. And anyway, if I tried to talk to her about this in my current mental state, I'd be more likely to say the wrong thing and fuck everything up than make it all better. Any advice regarding the situation and what, if anything, I should do about it would be greatly appreciated.

And because I'd like to end this post on a semi-happy note, here's the two of us being awesome at her house at three in the morning. Despite all of my previous complaints, my best friend still kicks your best friend's ass. :]

Nerdfest

2008-08-02T00:33:00.005-05:00

Yes. It's true. I'm one of those girls. I am in love with Edward Cullen. He is second in my heart only to Fitzwilliam Darcy. Tonight was the release of the fourth and final book in the Twilight series and yes, I will admit, I dressed up for the 'party.' I so wish I hadn't forgotten my camera because there were some seriously interesting costumes tonight. (I only wore a pink cocktail dress. Nothing to get excited about.) These people went all out on their costumes. Some were in full vampire garb with pale skin and fanged teeth and all that jazz. There was a girl there in a full-length, cream colored dress covered in black lace wearing red (we're talking fire engine red here) contacts. It was more than a little unnerving. There was even a guy there who was only wearing slacks and a bow tie with his torso covered in glitter. Those of you who are familiar with the series will appreciate that as much as I did. x]

Anyhow, thanks to my dear friend Alisha who went to B&N at 7 this morning to get tickets, we were the first group to get our books and so won't have to stay up all night waiting for our turn. Now we can just stay up all night reading. :] Speaking of reading, this book is all but calling my name. It may be a while before I appear again. Toodles!

Day Trippin'

2008-07-31T22:22:00.005-05:00

This is my baby. His name is Tippy. :] I'm really proud of this picture because Tippy HATES having his picture taken and it took me forever to finally get a good shot of him.

Today my friends and I took a mini road trip up to Davis, OK. There's a park there centered around Turner Falls (above). As you can see, there's not really much to them, but evidently they're the tallest in OK. We pretty much spent the entire day swimming in the river and slipping on algae-covered rocks. We all got a little sunburned and were exhausted by the time we left for home, but we had a fantastic time, and got some pictures to prove it.

Overdue

2008-07-30T21:58:00.011-05:00

I think the title speaks for itself. An update to my blog is long overdue, and I can't believe I really haven't updated since May! It doesn't feel it's been that long. So to make up for all this lost time, here's a little update on what I've been doing this summer.

Right after Spring semester ended, I took Sociology in Maymester at the community college here. It was ridiculous how easy this class was. I went to class four hours a day, Monday through Friday, for two weeks. We would always start with sociology, but we would inevitably digress and spend the remaining 3 and a half hours of class talking about something else. I got an A simply for showing up (not that I'm complaining).

Towards the beginning of summer I babysat regularly for the boys who live across the alley from me. The only pictures I have of them are on my phone and I haven't figured out how to get them on to my computer since my mobile plan doesn't include email. Anyway, their names are Cameron, who's 10, and Colin, who's 8. They're not too hard to take care of, but after a couple of days they start to think they can get away with anything. That gets annoying very quickly.

Anyway, babysitting has pretty much been my only source of income for the entire summer. I applied for three different jobs and got rejected all three times before I decided that babysitting not only pays better, but I also don't have to pay taxes which is very nice indeed.

I also took an English class this summer so I could knock out that second comp credit. I ended up making an A in that as well, although I'm not really sure how, because I put minimal effort into those essays. I guess that's just the difference between community college and university.

After that class was over I went on my church's Micah college choir tour, which was a ton of fun. There were only 15 of us so we all got to know each other pretty well. I think the best part about the whole thing was that we all became friends with people we probably wouldn't have in a larger social situation. We went to San Antonio, Brownsville, Matamoros, and South Padre Island. Here are a few pictures from that week.

We were all sitting in one chair at Starbucks :]

On the Riverwalk

The beach at South PadreMe (right) and my roomie (left)
Artsy macro pic. :]

A couple weeks after I got back from Micah, my family and I went to Chicago. We had a great time and did pretty much every touristy thing we could possibly do. I think the only thing we didn't do was go to the top of Hancock tower because it was never clear enough for a good view, and when it was we were out doing something else. My favorite parts of this vacation were going to see Wicked (it's SOOOO GOOD!!) and going on a segway tour.We actually got to go on Wrigley Field :]

I love my dad :]

Ok well I think that just about covers what I've been up to since May. I'm going to Oklahoma tomorrow so I will probably have some more stories and pictures to share when I get back. Toodles!

May/End of freshman year

2008-05-06T21:51:00.002-05:00

Current music obsession: www.pandora.com. Type in your favorite artist and it will create a "radio station" full of that artist's music and other music that's similar. And here's the best part... it's free!

Today is Tuesday. My last exam is Friday. This means that my freshman year of college will be over. Finished. Done.

Excuse me, time, but where the hell have you gone?

The fact that I've already got one year of college under my belt is more frightening than it is exciting. If the next three years are anything like this last one has been, then I'm going to be out in the real world way before I'm ready.

(What is the real world, anyway? Is the one in which I currently live fake?)

Here's another thing: I don't really live anywhere. Everything in my room at school is in boxes right now, and will probably remain in boxes for the next three months until I unload it into my next semi-perminant residence this fall. And so the pattern will repeat until I graduate and I'm out on my own (eep!). But that's a long way off yet (unless the next three years pass like the first, then we're in trouble).

For now, I'm just going to keep looking forward to Friday, because as much as I wish time would go slower, I really am ready for this semester to be over. Finished. Done.

End.

Life in fast forward

2008-03-24T17:40:00.003-06:00

Current music obsession: Joanna Newsom and Regina Spektor. Check 'em out.

The last day of March is a week from today. This is both a very good and a very bad thing. It is a good thing because it means that there is only a month left of this semester. It's a bad thing because once professors see that there is only a month left of the semester, they will start piling on the work like there's no tomorrow. Excessive work + End-of-Semester Fever = a Lacy who has no idea what to do with herself.

Here comes the sun.

End.

I put the "pro" in "procrastination"

2008-02-28T09:17:00.004-06:00

Lend me some sugah....
....I am yo' neighbah!

Current music obsession: Jon Foreman's EPs. He's releasing one for every season, and the ones out now are Fall and Winter. I think my favorite song from both of these comes from Winter. The song is called Somebody's Baby (lyrics can be found here), and it's that kind of song that makes you sit up and listen the instant it starts playing. Jon's honest voice combined with his skill with an acoustic guitar make this song irresistable. Buy it on iTunes if you can. It will be well worth your $.99.

At this particular moment, I should be spending my precious (and rare) spare time finishing my English paper. Instead, I'm browsing the internet and writing to [imaginary] strangers about nothing in particular for no particular reason. It's supposed to be a research paper, but not just any research paper. No, this is a personal research paper, which means it's not just a presentation of information, but rather is a series of personal experiences, questions concerning the topic, and my reactions to the information I've found. Since I didn't do any of this on my first draft, I essentially have to rewrite my entire essay. By tomorrow. Joy.

In other news, Obama is speaking in Fort Worth tonight, and I really want to go hear him. I'm not sure if that's going to happen, however, because I'm in class until 7 tonight and I still have an essay to rewrite. I'll probably end up going, anyway.

End.

Wound

2008-01-09T02:11:00.000-06:00

I was digging through some old papers and found something I wrote for a daily assignment for the creative writing class I took in high school (fall of 2005). The assignment was to show an emotion rather than stating, for instance, "He was sad." The resulting paragraph I will post below. Brent Shultz, if you are reading this, know that two and a half years later, I still haven't forgiven you. I probably never will.

"It was like I had just run into a rather solid wall after staring off in the other direction; I was winded, at a loss for words, and slightly embarassed. How could he do that? After listening to all his troubles and all those nights spent worrying about his cancer and then rejoicing because it was miraculously operable, only to find out that it was all a lie? After trusting him again after the first time he lied to me and Catie, all of this turned out to be a way to keep the attention focused on himself. I couldn't tell Catie; she would be devastated. And there was no way I could tell Laura because she wouldn't believe me. She was always defending him."

Thoughts

2007-12-22T00:46:00.000-06:00

I think that from here on out, until I get tired of it, I'm going to set my ipod to shuffle, push play, and "feature" whichever song apple chooses for me. Today's song is "Edit" by Regina Spektor, from her album Begin to Hope. She's amazing, if y'all haven't discovered her yet, but some of her stuff takes a little getting used to. Let's just say she's an acquired taste. :)

I don't really have that much to say tonight. I just have this overwhelming need to write something, even if it is just the mundane happenings of my mind at one in the morning. What I really want to write is a book. A novella, maybe. I have an idea that's been bouncing around in my head for what feels like forever, but I just can't seem to get out on paper. I know where I want to go with it, but I'm having trouble getting from point A to point B. My English teacher would tell me to just start writing and go from there. Easier said than done, it would seem.

On another note, I don't ever recall building brick walls reinforced with steel around my heart, but the past four months (or longer, even... who knows) would suggest that I did, at some point. I guess the fact that I don't remember building them contributes to the fact that I can't tear them down. I haven't quite figured out how, yet. Hopefully I'll be able to at some point in the very near future, because there are some seriously cool friendships I feel like I'm missing out on. Until that day comes, however, I remain eternally grateful to those who force themselves into your hearts and won't let you block them out.

End.

Don't shoot me, Santa!

2007-12-17T16:38:00.000-06:00

That's a great new song by The Killers, if you haven't heard it.

So my original intent was to write of my worries that my best friend might be mad at me again, but she just sent me a message on facebook so all is well. I think this fear was born more out of the fact that I haven't heard much from her over the past couple of days than anything.... substantial, I guess. Maybe her phone just wasn't working. The last time we fought (which was the first time), I hadn't talked to her in at least a month before... well, the details aren't important, but, needless to say, I get worried whenever I don't hear from her for a stretch. Anywho!

Semester is FINALLY over. Huzzah!

...I don't really remember what else I was gonna say.

S.O.S.

2007-09-10T22:10:00.000-05:00

Ok. I'll admit. I'm in way over my head. I have a ton of reading to do for three classes. I have a crapload of practicing to do this week. I have a test next Monday, and another the Monday after that, but I don't know where to beging studying. I have errands to run, and various other things to accomplish. There aren't enough hours in the day... I have so much to do that I don't even know where to start. So I haven't. Normally at this point I would be telling a friend in this situation to stop thinking about everything they have to do, and concentrate on one item at a time. It's a pity I have such a hard time following my own advice.

Just a thought.

2007-09-10T13:41:00.001-05:00

Some of the things that were going on in my mind during Survey of Dance today:

Maybe I thought it was going to be interesting. Maybe I thought it would be fun. Maybe I just don't get dance like I get music. Would these girls feel the same in a survey of music class as I do in this survey of dance class?
---
They talk about traditions and losing ties from our past. How can you talk about what you don't understand? Our history resembles nothing of that of India or Africa, where what Americans consider lewd is a fact of day-to-day life. Don't talk about losing traditions when what you long for has only ever existed in another country. Move to Africa if that's what you seek.
---
Why can't I get a fine arts credit from one of my music classes? I'm registered for seven. You'd think that out of one of those I'd get a fine arts credit and wouldn't have to sit in Beasley 102 for an hour and twenty minutes every Monday and Wednesday listening to people preach on a topic I don't understand.
---
How many different ways can you say the same thing?

[end]

I was smart and looked at the weather before I went to class this morning. I brought my umbrella. I brought my jacket. I neglected, however, to wear shoes that won't send you sprawling on the ground the second you hit a slippery spot. I slipped numerous times walking around campus today, but managed to keep myself upright for almost the entire day. My goal was to make my way back to my room without falling flat on my face. Of course I failed. I was so close! And then, in true Lizzie McGuire fashion, I was on the ground, facedown in a puddle. Oh, the shame! But I'll live.

There are several things I need to get done today, and only an hour and a half til my next class. I have a test next week, and another the week after that, both of which will require more studying than I'm ready to do. I also need to practice. Ahh!! There aren't enough hours in the day. I guess time-management is yet another thing I have to learn while I'm here. In the mean time, I guess I'll go get started... on something....

college, et cetera

2007-09-07T13:44:00.000-05:00

It's been nearly a year since I last posted. I don't know why all of a sudden I'm compelled to start blogging again. I never get any feedback, and really it's more of a waste of time than anything else. But I was looking back at various things I've written on the various blogs I've had over the years (xanga, livejournal, myspace, vox, blogspot, and facebook), and it's stirred something of a nostaliga inside of me. Because despite the fact that I don't receive any feedback and the fact that no one really reads this anyway, I get some sort of satisfaction from exposing myself to the wide wide world. There are so many things bouncing around in my head, and especially now that I'm in college, but I never write them down or share them with anyone. So, why not pick up blogging again? Most of the stuff that bounces around in my head isn't half-bad, whether it be an idea for a story or just a thought on the way the world works. If I start blogging again these thoughts can be... preserved, I guess.

I think I had more to say when I started writing, but it's since flown out of my head. I'm driving to Lubbock later to go see my best friend... I wish I didn't have a studio class today!! I probably would have been at least halfway there by now.

Well, I think I'm done for now. Hopefully it won't take me another ten months to come back to the world of blogging.

End.

Dream??

2006-10-07T01:28:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a dream where I became a dancer and then got shot in the back. Twice. According to dreammoods.com:

Dance: To dream that you are dancing, signifies freedom from constraints and harmony/balance with yourself. You are working in cooperation with yourself. It also represents frivolity, happiness, gracefulness, sensuality and sexual desires. Alternatively, it may signify intimacy and a union of the masculine and feminine aspects of yourself.

Bullet: To dream of being hit by a bullet, suggests that you need to persevere and endure the difficult times.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm having a little trouble putting two and two together here. Those two just really don't mesh. Anyone wanna offer up an interpretation?

Things that make me happy

2006-10-05T17:54:00.000-05:00

Fortune cookies

Smiles

Ice cream

Puppy kisses

I must be a masochist or something...

2006-10-04T22:55:00.000-05:00

...because each time I watch a chick flick it's just rubbing salt in the wound. At least in this one the guy dies at the end.

It's not that I'm ashamed or anything, it's just that you'd think that by your senior year in high school you'd at least have some idea of what everyone's always talking about.

Not me, though.

These.... bitter moods don't usually come up that often, but they have been recently. It's like everywhere I go there's a couple holding hands, a couple making out. And I suppose it's one thing to be single and know what you're missing, but to be single, seventeen, and completely in the dark...

Well, some people might call that pathetic. I would probably agree with them.

Overdue

2006-09-25T16:31:00.000-05:00

I think a new post is long overdue. Not that anyone will read it, but it will make me feel better. I had the intention of writing about the college application process, but I've decided it's so overrated that I'm not even gonna bother.

On a happier note, I know where I want to go to school. OSU is looking like a mighty fine choice right now. I visited it this weekend and fell in love. I'm goin back in November - by myself! Get excited! =D

Anyway, this post was mostly to inform the general public that I am, indeed, still alive.

Until next time! :)

P.S. I took that picture in St. Croix (Virgin Islands) last summer. Ain't it purdy? :)

I guess it's better than being alone.

2006-09-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

Mostly when I listen to music, I feel really indescribably happy. Every now and then, however, I get hold of a song that makes me feel... melancholy, almost. And it's funny, because whenever like that song crops up I hold on to it and listen to it obsessively. And sometimes I hear a song that doesn't make me feel happy but it doesn't make me feel sad, either. These songs are usually the ones that get me pensive, and the thoughts that float up are pretty interesting. Like tonight at church, everyone else was still downstairs having snack supper while I was upstairs alone with my thoughts. Here's a little sample of what was going through my head:

Sometimes I think I'm happier when I'm alone than when I'm around other people. People expect me to be the life of everything and just to generally bring joy, but sometimes I just don't want to be that. Like now. I'm really not as bubbly as everyone thinks I am. There's so much I have inside of me that I didn't even know existed til now... Maybe I should talk to Barbie about it. No... she might not understand. I could always just write it down. What is there to understand, anyway? That this is really just the story of a girl who thought she was happy but wasn't, who thought she had everything but really had nothing? 'Cause now I just sound like your generic emo kid. But I'm not. I'm just a girl who's alone in a big room with just her thoughts for company. And who wishes now more than ever that she had paper and pen so she could just write this all down. Funny how the only time I ever have anything to write is when I've got nothing to write on or with.

And now you're probably all thinking, "Jeez, this kid just needs to get over herself." But don't worry. I get into these moods only every once in a while. I'll be over myself by tomorrow. And if I'm not I give you full permission to slap some sense into me. (But not hard.)

Please don't add any more stress to the situation than is necessary.

2006-09-05T16:47:00.000-05:00

Please someone tell me that I'm not the only one who feels stress coming in from all sides about the whole college application process?

From the school counselors: "You've got to keep up your attendence and make good grades so you can get into the college of your choice! Let us show you where you ought to be, even though you'd rather go elsewhere!"

From the parents (mostly my mom): "You've got to study everyday for your (insert standardized test here) so you can make a high score and get into college! You need community service hours, they like to see that! You've got to start worrying about this NOW!!"

From what seems like every college in the nation (and one overseas): "PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME!!!!!"

Jesus Christ, will y'all please just get off my back??? This is going to be stressful enough as it is, I don't need any help from the rest of the world.

Anyone who's got some experience with this process, I would really like some advice other than what's already been shoved down my throat. Comments, thoughts, suggestions, advice, anything. It's all much appreciated.

Anyway, here's a prettiful picture for you to feast your eyes upon. Enjoy. :)

Fun with camera.

2006-09-02T21:55:00.000-05:00

I can honestly say that I did absolutely nothing productive today, and it felt so nice. I've decided that it's good to have nothing days, and we should all have them more often. They're good for your health, despite what the rest of the world may tell you.

A few nights ago I had a dream that I was in a plane crash. At first I thought we were just doing neat little spinny tricks through the air. I remember thinking, "All the people on the ground are going to think we're going down!" And then I realized that was exactly what we were doing. I went to get out my cell phone to call my parents and tell them what was happening, but the plane crashed before I got the chance. We landed in a parking lot somewhere in Dallas, and I was thrown out of the plane and bouncing around on top of these cars before I finally stopped. Somehow I survived.

Anyway, I figure that having a dream about a plane crash has got to mean something, right? So I went to dreammoods.com and typed in "plane crash." Here's what it said:

"To dream that a plane crashes, suggests that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. Your goals may be too high and are impossible to realize. You are in danger of having it come crashing down. Alternatively, your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt toward the goals you have set for yourself is represented by the crashing airplane; you do not believe in your ability to attain those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified."

But, of course, what does the internet know about the way my mind works? I probably would have believed this under different circumstances, but as I never set goals for myself I know I can't reach, I find this answer completely untrue. Mostly I just think I had the dream because it was shortly after that plane crashed in Kentucky, and the rest of my dream was made up of bits and pieces of other things I had seen or that had happened to me.

BUT STILL.

Anyway, as today was my nothing day, I decided to have some fun with my camera. Here are some of the results. Enjoy. :)

Every drawing that I drew was never ever as cute as you.

2006-09-01T17:55:00.000-05:00

Happy September!

So Tricia has been getting me hooked on things lately. Blogger, Vox, and Hellogoodbye, to name a few. And I'm finding that I'm getting really into blogging. There's just something about exposing myself to the world and getting feedback. (Please disregard the fact that I've yet to get any of said feedback.) Not to mention the fact that I love having an excuse to be on the internet.

RANDOM: I used to want to live in a lighthouse. My parents (I think it was my mom...?) shattered that by telling me that people don't live in lighthouses anymore because they all run on timers now.

SO?!?

I still want to live in one.

I think I was born in the wrong century. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love technology and all this stuff, but sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we all weren't so wired. If I could choose a century to live in, it would be the 19th.

I would wear dresses everyday, and would never wear a bra. I would wear shoes only on the specialist of occasions. I would be messy and probably have dirt smudged on my face. I would read books all the time, and when I wasn't reading, I'd be outside taking rediculously long walks and just generally enjoying nature. I would be a hopeless romantic. I would live in a log cabin on the edge of a small town and go to all the town balls. I would be outspoken, and I would never ever ride side-saddle.

End.

Untitled

2006-08-31T19:46:00.000-05:00

Have you ever walked into a room and tried to turn on the light, only to realize that it was already on?

I need more sleep.

Anyway, I took this picture in St. Croix (U.S. Virgin Islands) last summer, and it pretty much sums up my outlook on life.

Enjoy.

Of wasting time and letting go.

2006-08-30T21:36:00.000-05:00

I think there was something I wanted to rant about earlier today, but I don't remember what it was so it must not have been all that important.

I've been wasting alot of time lately. And by wasting time I mean not doing anything particularly productive. Watching movies instead of doing my homework, for example. Here's another one: posting on blogger when I should be studying for my test tomorrow. I don't know why I have a sudden desire to not do my homework. I've been doing really well so far this year. Hopefully I'll pick back up soon. I don't like feeling like I still have things to do.

As for the second part of my title, I think I only put it there because I just listened to "Let Go" by Frou Frou (excellent song, if you haven't heard it) and it's now stuck in my head. Not that I'm complaining, mind.

And now, to completely change tacks and possibly confuse you:

I got a message from an old friend on myspace today. I think the last time we talked was ninth grade, and we're now seniors in high school. I see her everyday on my way to fourth period, and she said that she sees me in the halls sometimes, and we never say hi to one another. We don't really even acknowledge each other. It's actually really sad, because in elementary school we were inseperable. We met on the first day of school in fourth grade, and halfway through the class our teacher threatened to seperate us because we were talking so much. We started drifting slowly around 8th grade, and by the end of ninth we had stopped talking all together. And today she sent me a message, asking me how I was doing.

I've only drifted with two other friends. One was no fault of my own. I said hi to her on the first day of ninth grade, and I guess somewhere in between middle school and high school she got to be too cool for me, because gave a fake smile and kept walking. The other nearly tore me apart, but it's been mended and is not something to go into now.

I guess all I really have to say is that this is what I expected to happen when I started high school. I didn't really know it at first, but I've learned now that sometimes no matter how hard you try you just can't hold on anymore.

(This is beginning to tie in with my title more than I thought it would.)

I'm starting to mentally prepare myself to be separated from these people in nine months when we all graduate and start making our way to college. It will take a natural disaster to separate me from some of these people, and others I don't have a hard time imagining myself rarely seeing them again, if not ever again.

But that's nine months from now, which means nine more months of each other's company, so why not make the most of it?

End.

I need a life.

2006-08-27T21:39:00.000-05:00

I got a blogspot because my cousin said I should. Don't mistake this to mean that I do everything that anyone tells me to do, because I don't. Mostly I just can't resist signing up for anything that looks remotely interesting. Examples:

I've been on xanga.
I did livejournal for a little while.
I'm on myspace.

Now I'm on blogger. Hoorah!

So, I should be doing homework right now, but naturally I'm signing up for silly things like blogspot and thus furthering the exposure of my soul to the world.

But really, isn't that why the internet was invented?

...Don't answer that question.

Anyway, I'm feelin' good things happening in the future, so I"ll see y'all around. :)